A Very Generalised Rant

[megpie71]

Okay, this is very general, it isn't aimed at anyone in specific. This is just me getting something off my chest so I don't damn well explode.

Characters have names for a reason. Use them.

Seriously, if I see many more fics where the various characters are referred to by their height, their hair colour, their age, their gender or anything else other than their blinkin' names, I'm going to go potty.

This rant brought to you by far too many fanfics wherein Cloud Strife is described as "the blond(e)" and entirely too many where people try to coin new words to describe the hair colours of Sephiroth and Zack.

Comments

[szaleniec1000]

It always makes me think that the POV character has a lousy memory for names.

[musyc]

Oh god, yes. I can't think of any instance in my life where I've thought of someone as "the blond", and just that.

[xpaperplanex]

But the silverette is such a wonderful descriptor! And how can you go wrong with ravenette?

I think I died a little typing those.

[megpie71]

Oh gods, so you've seen those ones too?

The English language has so many wonderful adjectives. Why do people persist in trying to invent horrible ones?

[xpaperplanex]

I have. It's appalling. The first time I saw it, I had to walk away and come back ten minutes later just in case my eyes had been playing tricks on me. I was so disappointed to learn that I had read correctly.

Who goes around thinking of other people by the colour of their hair or age relative to the other people in the room? Hair colour or some other noticeable physical descriptor I could see if they don't know the person's name, but on a continual basis? And if they absolutely can't use their name because that's "boring", USE REAL WORDS!

Though I suppose "ravenette" is mildly better than "blackette" from a strictly "that's slightly less jarring" standpoint. If horrific descriptors had to be created.

[megpie71]

Oh my gods, you've read the same horrible stories I have. I've seen all three of those, and each time it was like being hit in the face with a block of half-thawed frozen fish. One of the key rules of the English language: Germanic Old English root-words do not mate well with 16th Century French suffixes.

More basic rule: the English language is not a giant box of Lego blocks. Some bits of it do not play well with others, no matter how large a hammer you use to force things. (Actually, to stretch the metaphor almost to breaking point, the English language is much more like a combination of pieces from six different Lego kits, a couple of Meccano sets, and three boxes of Capsella capsules thrown in for fun, along with the more rusty and decrepit pieces out of Dad's back shed and a sprinkling of odd bits and pieces from a variety of small toys).

As far as I can tell, the whole thinking (such as it apparently is in such cases) regarding the use of epithets is along the lines of "must have some way of referring to the character in order to distinguish them from everyone else". Which is, strangely enough, what names are very good at doing.

[etienneofthewestwind]

I love that description of the English language.

Now, as I write crossovers, I will occasionally work in descriptors for readers who might not be familiar with all fandoms. I certainly hope it's not enough to be rant-worthy. And while I'm not the best writer out there, I don't have anything against using existing English. It is more than versatile to do the job...